Triana to Tribeca

TRIANA BRIDGE



Well my avid blog readers, this is probably the last one of the series. I might start up again sometime when my life provides something interesting to write about.

The Triangle Below Canal (clever NYC) 

After almost a full day of travel, from the land of toros and tapas, to the city of bagels and big buildings, here I am, back in New York after nine amazing months in Spain. There were ups and down, of course. There were times when all I wanted to do was go home and eat a bagel or go to the grocery store on a Sunday. There were times when I thought, why isn’t the waitress bringing me a complimentary glass of water, and refilling it every 3 minutes? There were times when I missed my family and friends more than anything in the world. But there were also times when I actively realized that I was having the time of my life. I was fully immersed in a Spanish life, not only speaking the Spanish language everyday, but also living the way Spaniards do, siesta and all.

Now, after a week back home, I already feel myself starting to long for the things I never thought I would miss. The air conditioning in my house is making my throat hurt; maybe those crazy Spaniards have a point about turning the AC off at night, even if it makes you sweat a little. When my friends ask me at 12:30 what I want to eat for lunch, I’m thinking are you crazy? Lunch isn’t for another 2 hours!

And then there are those things I knew I would miss. The crazy football fans, the one euro beers, general happiness and no pasa nada way of life, and of course my Spanish friends!

Since I don’t really have a game plan for the future, I’ve had a lot of time to reflect, and watch Spanish soccer! It sure is great to be home, to experience once again my American way of life but at the same time there is something very strange about it. I feel like nothing should be different than when I left in September, but of course life has gone on. My family and friends in New York have not been on hold. And I suppose I have not either. But it is hard to come to terms with the fact that my friends no longer live down the block from me, that I cant hang out with them whenever I want because they now have jobs that require working late during the week. I suppose this is normal, and with time will change.

The time has come where I actually have to figure out what my next move will be. Will I stay in NY and join the daily 9-5 grind? Will I return to Spain for another yearlong adventure, teaching, living and learning? Or will I go in a completely different direction? Only time will tell, so stay tuned!

For now, I want to leave you with a little blurb I found on the internet. Written by a fellow American living abroad in Europe, it explains exactly what I feel right now.

Couldn’t have said it better myself (that’s why I didn’t!):

So you look at your life, and the two countries that hold it, and realize that you are now two distinct people. As much as your countries represent and fulfill different parts of you and what you enjoy about life, as much as you have formed unbreakable bonds with people you love in both places, as much as you feel truly at home in either one, so you are divided in two. For the rest of your life, or at least it feels this way, you will spend your time in one naggingly longing for the other, and waiting until you can get back for at least a few weeks and dive back into the person you were back there. It takes so much to carve out a new life for yourself somewhere new, and it can’t die simply because you’ve moved over a few time zones. The people that took you into their country and became your new family, they aren’t going to mean any less to you when you’re far away.

When you live abroad, you realize that, no matter where you are, you will always be an ex-pat. There will always be a part of you that is far away from its home and is lying dormant until it can breathe and live in full color back in the country where it belongs. To live in a new place is a beautiful, thrilling thing, and it can show you that you can be whoever you want — on your own terms. It can give you the gift of freedom, of new beginnings, of curiosity and excitement. But to start over, to get on that plane, doesn’t come without a price. You cannot be in two places at once, and from now on, you will always lay awake on certain nights and think of all the things you’re missing out on back home.